When a person grows up as an only child or with a large age gap between siblings, many autonomous activities and decisions will be performed and made. Most universities require their first-year students to live on campus, which can be quite a big transition-from never sharing a room to looking at a stranger 24/7 on the other side of your dorm room. When I left my parents’ house to move two hours away, not only had I never been away from home before, but I never shared a room, or anything, since I am an only child. It was a coincidence that my first roommate was also an only child, so there was a lot of adapting on both sides. For perspective, we lived in a dorm room with a bed on each side of the room and a shared bathroom.

There will be lessons to be learned when adapting to a new situation, especially coming from a different scenery back at home. I wish I had known about setting dorm norms, the value of friendship, and positive ways to adapt to the change sooner. The transition from living as an only child to having roommates allowed me to mature and learn how to compromise, share and consider others. I could imagine you will experience the same. I was able to build friendships that feel lifelong since sharing a growing experience. There are positive approaches to adapting to living with people for the first time that avoids conflict and drama and ultimately make the dorm an enjoyable place to call home.

Adapting to the change

Being out of your comfort zone of home familiarity will feel different at first, but the goal is to make that dorm feel like your new home. Here are some tips I wish I knew sooner that will help with a smooth transition

Don’t go home every weekend

It is normal to feel homesick and want to visit, but it is hard to make a connection to your new campus without ever being there. On the weekends, hang out with your new roommates and get to know them. It’ll make living together less awkward if you have a better understanding of who they are as a person and get to know their likes and dislikes. Don’t run home to what feels "normal" and become familiar with your new home.

Talk about each other’s basic preferences

When you weren’t sharing a room, it didn’t matter what time you were watching TV or if you were sleeping with the light on. It would be rude to play music all night with a roommate when they have to get up for an early class. Within the first week of moving in, talk about temperature preferences, class schedules, noise tolerance when sleeping or studying, and set dorm norms that everyone will follow so there is mutual respect

Learn to appreciate friendship

Your college roommates will witness some of your most vulnerable moments and will be able to relate as you both are going through the experience together. It is more personal because they are there when you’re stressing about a test or sick in bed. You will find yourself venting to them and trusting them since all of your belongings are in the same room. College friends are just as important as the friends from home because you all grew up together, too, from the first year to graduation.

When conflict arises between roommates, a residential advisor will be available to mediate situations. Universities also have counseling services and first-year seminar courses that inform students on topics related to navigating their first year of college.